Monday, April 4, 2011

For Colton

I got one of those phone calls today.

The phone call that starts out with "I have some bad news." Automatically your brain goes towards the worst.

It was Lindsey, my big sister calling, and I automatically thought about Damon or my new niece, Collins, and the rest of my family members. But, then she delivers the news and although its not a close family member, I gasp in shock at the horrible news.

Our good family friend, Colton Burran, passed away in a four-wheeling accident.

So Colton...

I don't know how to respond in situations like this. I just saw you a couple weeks ago at church and although we were not super close, we had some fun times together.

We always ended up seeing each other at Razorback games and sometime out on the town in Little Rock. And every time I saw you, a huge smile would spread across my face.

When you would come over for family dinners, you always fit right in. Whether bantering back and forth with Abby while playing Mario Cart, joining Damon in his ridiculousness, including the way-too drawn out southern accent rants, helping Mom with the dishes, talking politics with Dad, or making me laugh until I cry just about every time, you were so fun and such a joy to have around. It was a like a present, having you around.

You were so kind, smart, and loving. You made everyone feel like they were someone, like they were important or what they said was valuable.

We loved having you around and right now, I can't believe you are gone.

My first response was shock, then sadness, then anger, and now just frustration and confusion.

I don't get it. I don't get why you had to leave so early. I can already tell by comments on your facebook, people are trying to make the best of it saying they can't wait to see you again. I can tell you had such a huge and positive influence on the family and friends in your life.

And this I, too, am so thankful for. Don't get me wrong. I am so excited to one day see you in Heaven. The idea of it is about the only thing that has brought a smile to my face today. After all, God was an obvious priority in your life.

However, as of right now, I can't find the comfort. I want too, but I can't.

I hope your family and friends are finding peace and comfort. I am praying that they do. And I will find it, I will, but right now it just sucks.

It's just painful and confusing. I can't help but think you could have remained here and done so much more work for the Kingdom.

Why did you have to go?

I hope you know how much you are already missed and how awesome of a person we all think you are. You have made a big difference in my life and will forever be in my memories.

Until Heaven.

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