Wednesday, July 28, 2010
More Eating, Praying, and Loving
This post is once again about a part of the book, Eat, Pray, Love. When I came across this section of the book, it felt like the things that I have been thinking or feeling in regards to my life right now were being written for me right into a national best seller book.
The idea of sacrifice is huge in my life right now. I am in the middle of trying to figure out what I want to do with my life and what I want out of life. And I know that sounds selfish but right now I would be lying if I did not admit that my life is a little self-centered right now.
But... I need it to be... and this could counter-act so many things in my life, number one, how God calls us to live...but recently, I have realized that I have been living to be what other people want me to be. I have made sacrifices of who I am, who God created me to be, in order to be what someone else wants me to be.
So I am trying hard to break this habit. And right now, the best way is to constantly ask myself... "Jordan, what do you want to do?" "What do you want to say" "Who do you want to talk to?" "Do you really like Modest Mouse or are you just saying that for approval?".... and then I answer honestly and do it.
You see, I am adaptable. Part of me is very thankful for that because it has provided me with so many friends but over the past eight years of my life, it has also caused me to be an obsessive people-pleaser that has lost who she is amidst becoming what others want her to be.
So bottom line, I am finding out who I am and then figuring out what it is in my life I will not and cannot sacrifice. What are the things I want in order to be happy.
Here is the excerpt from the book:
"My mother has made choices in her life, as we all must, and she is a peace with them. I can see her peace. She did not cop out on herself. The benefits of her choices are massive-a long, stable marriage to a man she still calls her best friend; a family that has extended now into grandchildren who adore her; a certainty in her own strength. Maybe some things were sacrificed, and my dad made his sacrifices, too- but who amongst us lives without sacrifice.
And the question for me now is, What are my choices to be? What do I believe that I deserve in this life? Where can I accept sacrifice, and where can I not?"