Today during huddle at work, I read from this book called "One Minute Wellness." IT was talking about the four reasons for anger. There were:
1. Low Self-Esteem
2. The Immature Emotional Response
3. Value Judging (people misjudging our values and beliefs)
4. Un-forgiveness
So- my inability to forgive is feeding the anger. They had a description for each reason but the one they gave for forgiveness was so short, simple, yet truthful, that I have to share:
"Here is an illustration of the poisonous heart of unforgiveness: a Holocaust survivor once said that if you licked his heart, you'd die from the poison. The truth about refusing to forgive, thinking hateful thoughts, and judging others is that such actions are like drinking poison in an effort to kill your enemy. Unforgiveness hurts only you. No matter how bad the offense against you was, not forgiving the offender causes only yourself-not the guilty party-an early death. So give yourself a gift by giving someone who needs forgiveness a gift he or she doesn't deserve. This will add years to your life and life to your years. It may just change the previously unforgiven person as well."
My favorite line is that refusing to forgive, thinking hateful thoughts, or judging others (all things I have done lately), are like drinking poison in an effort to kill your enemy.
Although not literally poisoning myself, I am poisoning my spirit and my character. I am doing damage to myself in efforts to "hurt" others.
Bottom line: that's just not going to work out the way I want it too.
I was glad I read that this morning. One minute of wellness and can do a lot of minutes of good apparently.
Thank you for this post! I have questioned some recent anger issues a close relative has all the time! At least I can understand some insight into her ability to be mad all the time! I wish she could make some peace like this. She seems so stressed all the time and gets mad so easily I find myself walking on eggshells. Thank you :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading and I hear ya- angry people are not fun to be a around at all. So no matter the justification her angry provides for your angry....we end up really only hurting ourselves, right? I just kept telling myself last night: I am giving myself a gift of forgiving and not being angry. It helped me be happier when I though about it like that.... I mean, who wouldn't want a gift? :)
ReplyDeleteThanks again for reading!