Sunday, October 3, 2010
I am sitting in Starbucks. I have been pretty productive so far and it has been a good day. However, I got distracted. Surprise, Surprise. And by what did I get distracted? Well, my own thoughts.
I am thinking about how feelings towards one person can change so drastically. One moment you can think your friend or whoever is the best thing in the world and then you can't stand them the next. Or you can think the worst of somebody and before you know it, you are best friends and more alike than you every realized. It is weird to me how my feelings towards people can change so quickly. I can smile, sigh, laugh, or roll my eyes at the mention of a person depending who they are. All different emotions in a person can evolve based on their feelings towards them.
And right now the one emotion you can feel towards people that I really hate is anger. I hate feeling angry towards a person and that is what I am feeling. Being angry is such a waste of time and especially in females in can turn to bitterness and I don't want that. I don't want to be bitter.
I don't want to be angry but I keep seeing things and hearing things that bring me back to this emotion. Maybe it is the wrong emotion. After all, I do suck at emotional things but whatever it really is that makes me feel this way, the outcome of it all usually boils down to anger and frustration.
So I am going to figure out how to separate this feeling from me. I don't want to be angry. People say in order to not be angry, you need to learn to forgive. But how can you forgive when the things that are making you angry are currently occurring and will continue to occur? I can't help the things that make me angry. Well I guess I can but that is just a lot easier said than done.
Fine. I will try.
But all that aside, today has been a great day. We spent a lot of time praying this morning in church and it was so good. And as is usual I making a whole new set of friends for my senior year and I am loving it. I think God has big plans for me this year and I am so excited and happy to see it all play out.
This year will be the hardest but quite possibly the best year, apart from my time in Ireland of course. :)
Now back to the piles of books, research, and writing- wishing I was elsewhere.