Sunday, June 20, 2010
This afternoon as a thunderstorm rolled over my home I sat down to watch "Leap Year". Knowing it would be a repeat of every other love story and the ending would be completely predictable, I couldn't help but watch it for the mere fact that the setting was in Ireland.
After spending a fall semester studying in Northern Ireland, as cheezy as it sounds, Ireland became a part of my soul. So whenever anything Irish comes up, my heart literally aches with a pain of emptiness...like something is missing.
I then wonder if the friends that I studied with in Ireland ever have the same feeling, the same ache in the pit of their stomachs. For some reason...I doubt it. And then I sit and try to figure out what this literal ache means. Does that mean God wants me to be in Ireland? Am I meant to be an adventurous soul that goes to a foreign country, away from my family, friends, and home?
I know I love the idea of me being in Ireland, Miss Independent or Miss Adventure Seeker, but the reality of it scares me...newness, loneliness, missing out on family.
I am not sure what to fulfill or rather, I am not sure what to heal...the aching or the fear. Both are bad feelings.