Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Engagement = Needing Someone

So last night I had a dream I got a boy... (yay)...and his name was Branton.

I don't think I know a Branton and even if I do, well I didn't know this guy. But he was charming and beautiful and just perfect. He pulled out the ring and it was so beautiful and simple and he placed it on my finger.

However, my first response was not yes... instead, it was: "You want to marry me?!"

I couldn't believe somebody so great wanted to marry me. (I don't mean for that to sound cynical or like a Debbie-downer, but it was just my thought.)

I just hope that thought and feeling will be real one day.

There was really nothing more to the dream. I remember we told my mom and she was happy and that's all.

But it was weird. And since I have been awake, I can't stop thinking about it.

I don't think I am ready to be married nor do I want to be. However, I would like to be able to find that someone I can't live without. The someone that I need in order to breathe. I haven't found that person.

I have been very successful so far in life at going through without "needing" anyone. Yes, I love my friends and have claimed to be "in love". I know I need people in the sense I would not be the same without them and I need my friends and family to keep me level headed, but there is not that dependence.

I am Miss Independent, Kelly. (okay, not really)

It just takes a lot to make me miss people and need people.

I wonder if something or someone can change this someday?

(every girl wants a fairy tale, even me.)

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