For the first time in my life I felt completely out of control, overwhelmed, insufficient, and incapable of doing anything to the standard at which I hold myself. I would sit down to write a paper and absolutely nothing would get done. Focusing was almost impossible and it was the weirdest, most awful feeling for a while. I was about two steps from diagnosing myself with A.D.D. and getting medication to help.
It was after falling asleep on my boss's desk at work,taking two hours naps during the day (which I didn't have time for), and having a sore throat for three weeks, I began to think "Hmm... I may actually be sick." So I went to the nasty, community clinic here in Siloam and it was confirmed. I had/have mono.
Thankfully, I am now on the down slope but I am still exhausted and creativity in my writing is still escaping my brain but I am trying. I am beginning to get back on track. It feels a lot better.
But for all of you who are completely overwhelmed with life whether it is school, family, friends, financial things, or maybe all of them together, know that I completely understand how you feel. And its okay to be mad, sad, and even depressed.
It will pass. I hate that saying because I really didn't feel like it would over the past few weeks but it will. It is just the season of life you are in and you know what, you are not in control anyways. Remember: God works for the good of those who love Him, even though I felt like I was failing at loving Him too. But that is why He is so great. He doesn't care how much I fail. He just loves me regardless.
So all to say, the pieces will fall together, this season will pass, and you know what: Harry Potter is coming out tonight! The final film! You can't be upset today! I know everyone is excited!
"Harry Potter has reached out to an estimate of 200 countries, spoke out in over 69 languages and has touched the lives of more than 400 million people. It is the phenomenon that ignores race, age, gender or religion and it has brought us together despite all our differences. We are the Harry Potter generation."
Although I wish this quote could be said in regards to something else, there is unrelenting truth to it.
I am excited. And geeze, they are so grown up.
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