Some people look for hope and contentment in the world- things that are man-made.
Some people look for hope and contentment in God.
Me. I have hope in God. Real, unrelenting hope and faith.
But I keep trying to find contentment in and by the things of this world.
I was convicted of this today in church. Although the sermon wasn't, a home-runner for me, the service pastor at our church put this in perspective at the closing of the service.
The flesh and the heart are always in a constant battle. But what's important to remember is that by simply changing your perspective the enemy can become weaker. When we look at the things of this world from a heavenly perspective through the eyes of God, things of this world become a lot less powerful and influential.
But I think it is important to mention here that I did not say things of this world become bad.
So many of us have it ingrained in our heads that "things" of the world are bad, especially materialistic things. I don't believe that and I honestly don't think God believes that either. I don't believe God wants us to suffer and live in "poverty" because others are in poverty. I don't think when Paul wrote in the book of Timothy that "love of money is the root of all evil", he is saying money is bad. In fact, he doesn't say that at all. He says "the LOVE of money is the root of all evil".
There is nothing sinful about wanting a nice car and having a nice house. It is the perspective and meaning you have and give to those things that can lead to sin. Correct me if I am wrong, but I believe that just as much work can be done for His kingdom by those with a nice car and house than by those without. I choose to believe that Psalm 37:4 means what it says: "Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart". And in Proverbs 16:3 which says, "commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed". Did you read that? desires of your heart and your plans. God has set certain desires and plans within our hearts because it makes us who we are as individuals. Just because we have them does not mean they are inherently sinful plans or bad desires. In fact those plans and desires can be the more powerful tool in our lives.
I am pretty sure that the fact that I want to own every single Boy Meets World season on DVD is not a bad thing. My desire and plans to travel and explore the world outside of missions are not bad and unGodly. If somebody wants to become a successful president of some big-wig corporation...that is okay and can bring just as much glory to God as anything else.
It all has to do with perspective. I am challenged to look at things with a different perspective. I am choosing to not feel guilty for wanting nice things and desiring certain plans for my life. Instead, I will choose to check my perspective- look at them all from a heavenly perspective- so when I get my plans and desires or loose them, at the end of the day, I can still stay "God is more than enough."
My hope and contentment will still be rooted in Christ.
Since I was a teeny tiny kid, I have always loved big houses. I seriously obessessed over them and always wanted explore them and one day take up residence in one. In fact, many Sunday afternoons were spent looking at the houses for sale in the newspaper, picking out my favorite mansions, and then gluing them into my scrapbook.
I am not sure why I loved them so much. I thought it was maybe because I lived in such a little house. However, even now as I have grown up, babysat and stayed in some really beautiful homes, I am still obsessed with them. Everything from the outside to the inside, I marvel over.
As I was thinking about this the other day, I thought of the analogy that people use for people. You know- "it is on the inside what matters". I thought of houses that are so pretty on the outside yet the insides are completely ugly and then also of the house that are old and yucky on the outside, but the inside is really well-designed. I prefer those houses because they have the Narnia effect on the emotions.
Either way- both parts of the house can change. The interior can be completely renovated and redesigned as well as the exterior.
But one thing that can never be changed (or is very rarely changed outside of complete demolition) is the actual foundation of the house.
Then I thought: and when have I ever taken the time to look at the foundation of a house? After all that is where the structure and the beauty of the house being and evolve from.
So take that thought, apply it to people and go with it where you want...but here is where I go:
If instead of making assumptions about people by their exterior OR interiors, I looked at their foundations, how would my relationships with them change?
I am great about judging the exterior, by the way. It is one of my favorites games. I mean after all, in case you didn't know, Jordan means "rivers of judgment" so naturally, I am a natural. (justified?! please?!) I think we are all pretty good at this though. It comes in a package deal with our sin nature.
Interior however, can be a little trickier. You meet someone and if you are anything like you me, based on a 15 minutes conversation, you know if you like the person or not. (probably more like 5, if I am being honest. ) When talking you wait to see if the person meets your standards of a"good conversation". Did they make me laugh? Did I make them laugh? Are they smart? or are the a little more on the Paris Hilton side of the spectrum? (I am okay with either). Can they have a real conversation or is just surfacey stuff? Where are they from? Where did they go to school? What did they major in? Oh and a big one- greek life? If I can guess from the get go, this usually means I won't be best friends with them. (I said usually- not all the time and I said best friends- not just friends. )
Some other people may take longer than 15 minutes though. It takes a couple interactions, a couple hang-seshes, and a couple weeks or so. You can get to know the inside of person based on what they say, how the interact, and who they are, right now in their life.
But this is where I go wrong and forget. Everyone changes from the inside out and like I said, the only thing that doesn't change, is the foundation.
Foundations form, frame, and uphold both the insides and outsides of a person just like they do a building.
Some people can look like they have it all together on the outside and the inside because it is the areas of our life we can control and change. We can control our looks and we can control our behaviors. However, we all know that after a while, when you get past the mask and the act of a person and start to see dysfunction, you realize it is usually routed in the dysfunctional foundation of that person. And when you see the dysfunction in the foundation, then grace and mercy extend a lot more freely because we realize that people's ugliness, covered by a scripted and perfected act, is just an outcome of a faulty foundation- something which usually they have no control over and have no idea how to fix or remodel.
So what does this mean?
The obvious-pay attention to the foundations of people before you judge them on the outside and the inside. Grace and mercy are something we receive freely everyday from the Person we deserve it least from so we should more than willingly extend it to others.
But more importantly, take a look at your own foundation.
No matter how you grew up or how you were raised, it is important to pay attention to how you are feeding your foundation. This can be done negatively and positively.
Are you feeding the weaknesses of your foundation? For example, taking issues from your past and letting them ruin your relationships now by giving them control over the present? Are you dwelling on the negatives things that were built into your foundation that you had no control over. Or what above feeding your sin nature in general? Unfortunately, nobody has a perfect foundation. There is sin built into every single one? So are you feeding the sin of your foundation? When you feed the sin and weaknesses in your foundation, you will produce a weak and ugly person no matter how good you think you are at masking it.
Instead, focusing on feeding your foundation with good. And I don't mean things that simply make you happy, but things that are good in God's eyes- including but not limited to struggles and challenges along with happiness and love and grace that you let shape you into a beautiful person inside and out.
Stop trying to control the outside appearance and inside behaviors,based on "who you want to be". Instead feed the foundation, build into it with good, and you will become who you want to be and it will more solid, more believable, and more sturdy that any mask or scripted lifestyle could ever be.
A couple months ago, on my Facebook status I wrote a quote that I heard from a sermon. It said:
"Lord, let us not focus on the storm but rather focus on the One who calms them."
I thought there were storms going on then, but little did I know that the big storm was just brewing.
For those of you who don't know, The Monnahans (by Monnahan's I mean, Woodwards and Morgans as well...so weird) family has been through a crazy, crazy storm lately and God has held not just me, but my whole family accountable to that profession and prayer. So as I boldly stated that quote a couple months ago, I can now say that that prayer has bled continuously out of the hearts of us Monnahan's over these past couple of weeks and God has continually challenged us to focus on Him throughout this mighty storm.
To give you a good picture of what life has been like, think of a big wave out on the ocean.
Whether its your first time on a beach or you are a professional surfer, there is nothing quite like the thrill of seeing a gigantic wave out in the ocean beginning to form. I remember as a kid on a family vacation in Hawaii, just staring in complete aww as these huge waves formed out in the ocean and waiting for the loud crashing noise as it broke back into the sea.
Like the excitement of the formation of a gigantic wave, our whole family was so excited fo Abby's wedding. If you weren't able to be there, you honestly missed out on an amazing wedding and by far the best one I have ever been too...and I am not just saying that because she was my sister.
I say this because we had the opportunity to see some of our best friends and family come together and create a fairy tale princess wedding for Abby and Trent. The wedding was just like a wedding you would see in the movies and although to most of the guests, they saw pretty decorations and lights, I saw an outpouring of love over not just Abby but our entire family as our friends celebrated this occasion not just for us, but WITH us. Hours and days were sacrificed in many people's lives to put this wedding together and I cannot tell you how thankful I am and it wasn't even my wedding. We, the Monnahan's, have been so incredibly blessed to have such amazing friends established here in Arkansas, since our family is so far away. The wedding was an incredible event and memory we all shared.
But just like a wave begins to break, the wedding came to an end, and there was rush of weariness and recovery that over swept my parents. Although not one thing could have been more perfect about the wedding, it did take a lot of work. And by a lot, I mean A LOT- especially for my mom and dad. They were strained in every way imaginable...physically, emotionally, mentally.
It took over a week to even have them just physically back to themselves but on May 25, the wave broke- and the crash came. A big crash. Lindsey, who was at the time 20 weeks pregnant with a sweet baby boy- Grayson Scott, was forced into delivery due to uncontrollable complications. For some reason, baby Grayson did not want to wait any longer and pushed his little feet out causing the umbilical cord to wrap around him. So at 9:44am, Grayson Scott Woodward was born into the arms of Jesus. He was just 10 1/2 inches long and wait 12.6 ounces.
This was without a doubt the hardest thing our family has ever been through. On the way to the hospital I had to go to Target and buy what would be the first and last piece of clothing Grayson would receive from his Aunt Jordan. Tears filled my eyes as I tried to find the smallest outfit knowing nothing would fit him. I settled for the baseball onesie that said "little brother". He was going to be my little nephew. The little guy I would take to the park, take to baseball games, take to get ice cream, teach him how to call the hogs...so many things.
Once I got the hospital, we were told we could go in and see Lindsey. I cannot tell you how hard it was to walk into that hospital room, seeing my big sister holding her teeny-tiny baby boy, knowing she would have to soon give him away. But I can promise you that while holding baby Grayson with the sadness and the difficulty of his passing overwhelming us, the glory of Christ was still shining through. I wish each of you could have seen...everything from his teeny tiny fingernails and toenails to his little eyelashes and forming ears made each member of family stare in awe at the intricacy of our Creator. Just look at his tiny feet print- they were so precious. Collins even got to see him and just stared in awe.
The support and love from family and friends poured in through the following days. Lindsey and Damon were so loved on, as was the rest of our family. We had a beautiful memorial service for Grayson led by John O'Leary. There was beautiful poetry both written and read by a dear friend, Stacey Hammons, a tear-jerking poem from my own dad, and then as music played, each of the family members let go a balloon as we said our final goodbye to sweet baby Grayson. We had an ice cream truck waiting for everyone to have ice cream after the ceremony because like at every little boy's birthday, there must be ice cream. On the morning that Grayson was born, Kathrine and I declared "Home" his song by Phillip Phillips which we played while we let the balloons go. Listen to it.
A couple days went by and support continued to pour in as Lindsey, Damon and the rest of us tried to get back to "normalization". So like after the crash of every wave, it seems as if the worst of it is over. We thought it was. We all thought Lindsey and Damon had all they could handle. But then a sickness over took her body- probably due to the weakened immune system caused by stress and fatigue. Just a week after the crashing of the wave, the undertow came and grabbed them both. one. more. time. Because of Lindsey's diabetes, getting the flu is not just a 'sick-in-bed-for-the-day' thing. It includes hospitalization. IV's. 24-hour care. This time it was not just one night, but three. My mom and dad, still recovering from the wedding and Grayson, then stepped in like the amazing parents they are and become full-time parents again to Collins (the busiest one-year-old on the planet) while Damon and Lindsey stayed in the hospital.
The undertow pulled at every thread of their being. They were mentally exhausted. Physically exhausted. Emotionally exhausted. Financially exhausted. Relationally exhausted.
It wasn't until this past weekend, that the undertow let go and the smooth tide finally rolled in. Except for Landon who had to work, we all got to be together as family and "re-group". We were able to go out on the lake and just try and have some fun together again. Unfortunately, a storm like this can really create a disruption in not only our physical lives but also spiritually. Each member in our family was spiritually affected in very different ways.
Each day was and continues to be hard and each day the pain feels brand new because this sort of pain isn't a pain that turns numb after a while. As an aunt, I only experience a part of what Lindsey, Damon, and all the other parents out there who have been through a tragedy like this- and I know, the pain stays real, raw, and fresh. Every morning when you wake up, you feel it. When you go to sleep, you feel it. When Lindsey and Damon hold Collins, they wonder what kind of a big sister should would have been. When other babies are being born, the desire to celebrate is stung by the memory of their own loss. When they go to bed, they hope when they wake up the next morning, it will all just have been a bad nightmare. It hurts. I have to watch Lindsey go through and wrack her brain about what could have been done differently. Seen Damon try and support Lindsey as a strong supportive husband but so heart-broken over the fact that he had to give up his first son. This is a storm. And this is our storm.
But here is the thing. Although we were all caught in this big storm-
Lindsey and Damon who's faith and spirit were rocked the hardest did not waverer one bit.
This past weekend Lindsey was talking about a book she said had read before Grayson was born and how it challenged her to give her children to Jesus. She said "I did. I promised God he could have my children and He actually took him."
Just like my prayer to focus on The Calmer of the storm instead of the storm before the storm every came...God will challenge us. He will hold us to our professions and to our words. When I think of Lindsey and Damon, I think of Luke 16:10: "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much...". Over the past couple of years, I have seen Lindsey's faith grow stronger and stronger. As a big sister, I have always looked up to her but seeing her steadfast faith through this storm has been absolutely incredible, admirable, and humbling. She is the strongest person I know and God has created her this way. She always has been. He sees her strength and by taking her and Damon through this storm, He is only strengthening her by making both of them more dependent on Him. And I think I know why and I think this could be why, you, reading this, have gone through the storms of your life.
Because God is doing and will continue to do incredible things through each and everyone of His children as long as we are faithful in both the little and the big. God is using Lindsey and Damon and their storm for the glory of their kingdom in ways that none of us could ever imagine. Although we can't see it now in the midst of this storm, we will be able to look back and see a beautiful sunset stretching across the sky, over the waves, and know that the Creator has it all under control. He always has had in under control and He always will.
Lindsey and Damon have fully managed to do exactly what I prayed for. They have focused on The Calmer of the storm instead of the storm- something very few people could handle with as much grace, understanding, and peace as both Damon and Lindsey have. I am honored and humbled to be a part of their family and to watch them on this journey.
I only hope that as you have read this and as I have witnessed, that when God brings storms into our lives, that we will be as faithful, steadfast, and trusting and Lindsey, Damon, and my whole entire family has been. Because you know why? Because God is always up to something and my desire is to be a part of that something because whatever it may be....it is going to be oh so good. I don't want to miss out.
So I know after a long period of time, this post is not that exciting. However, my Uncle Rod sent this to my dad who in turn sent it to me and I found it pretty insightful.
I myself get pretty sick of this whole "green generation" thing...gah, even the picture above annoys me... not because it is bad but because everyone who does not "go green" outwardly is viewed as bad or like they have a scarlet letter hanging around their neck.... Read on. And the ending remarks...just typical of my Uncle Rod. I love him. :)
Being Green
Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.
The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."
The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."
She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.
But too bad we didn't do the green thing back then.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that young lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty (this is something I strongly encourage you NOT to do because nowadays there are way too many toxins things in our water included traces of mercury and fluoride) instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn't have the green thing back then.
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smartass young person...
We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.
I can see both sides of the fence- but I think this side is often hid under the passion turned pride of our generation. Just some thoughts.
So I don't know how many of you know this, but my older sister Abby is getting married! Oh yeah...gettin' hitched. And can I just ask why it is that every time I tell people that, they all say "why aren't you stopping her?"
I mean, people. Marriage is and can be a good, happy thing. And then they go to validate my singleness like I have a golden star hanging above my head. "You are doing it the right way." What? Living only for myself, doing what I want to do, and failing to commit to love someone else for the rest of my life?
Pssshh...whatevs. She is getting married and I am so very happy for her (even though her fiance can drive me nuts! Love you, Trent!). I will get there one day.
Anyway, last weekend, we had her bachelorette party in Memphis. It was nine girls and I must admit, I was dreading the weekend because big groups of girls out on the town, having a good time, can really make my blood pressure rise and I start freaking out.
However, it was Abby's big weekend and I sucked it up. Plus, Molly and Kat were there to so at least I would always have back up.
The road trip there was purrty dang good. Windows down, 90's Hits list playing on Pandora...aahhhh, road trips. Us three were perfectly happy and content. But that can't be said for the others. You see, we drove separately. The others road in two vehicles and it was a person in each who delayed their trip causing a lot bigger delay than they imagined. Before they left town, Abby decided she really needed fake eyelashes because well, she is Abby and she is the bell of the ball. Lindsey, the other sister, needed Sonic, because she is addicted to their happy hour beverages. (Yes, the addiction runs in the family). This caused about a 20 minute gap which caused them to get stuck behind a GI-normous wreck involving semi-s and cars, and fatalities.
Their delay lasted them 2.5 hours!! So it took them almost 4 hours to get to Memphis. A trip which should normally take about 2 hours. Whew. I am glad I have addressed my sonic addiction and that fake eyelashes are not necessary for a good night out. :)
Meanwhile, once we got there, Molly, Kat, and I checked-in:
Pssshh...who are those two bums?
And then we went to check out the local pool in case we wanted to have a pool party.
Definitely pool party environment, right? Even if our only guest would be the sweet maid Rose who took our picture. I think she thought we were nuts.
Anyways....we proceeded to hang out. I worked out and the girls got ready until everyone else arrived. Then we went out to go get seats at a restaurant for dinner. We went to 152 on Beale Street.
That's us. And we got to hear this really cool band called Irish Red. Check out their logo.
Pretty sweet, huh?
Then, after dinner....we went out and walked around.
It was my first time out on Beale Street so we started the walk out right with what is called a "Big Ass Beer." I can't help it. The trio can't help it. We like beer.
Oh and apparantly being with like 9 really dressed up, pretty girls is like walking around with signs on your head saying look at us. We were literally out on Beale street for about 1 minute when two different girls came up saying, "so my friend thinks you are really hot..." to which I responded..."then you can tell him to come and tell me that...". Bad idea though. Because one did, and then he wouldn't leave. Like literally.
All of us girls were trying to just move and on and keep walking but he kept following. So a bouncer at one of the places noticed and asked if he was bothering us. We said yes and he said, okay, come in here and follow this girl. So all of us, like a little line of ants when into this bar/restaurant and before we knew it, she lead us through like three back doors and three different restaurants and walked us out to the top of Beale Street. We had our own personalized escape route! It was awesome..
Then, we ran into a bachelors party who wanted us to "ice" their groom with a Smirnoff. Here is Abby and him and their big, ginormous, really gross tasting drinks. (Don't worry, Abby did not drink all of that!)
After walking around for quite a while, we decided it was time to go dance. We went back to 152 and got our groove on for a while. Three different levels to dance on, three different levels of fun. We chose level 3. Duh.
Here we are dancing. :) Could ya tell?
Then we decided it was time to go to this place called Raiford's. Now, Kathrine had told me all about this place and I was just like ya, ya, ya....club, dance...good time...whatevs. But NO. I was very wrong. This place was amazing. You walk in and they have this white fog over the whole place so it is not dark inside at all, but kinda blurry. And the best part is, they play all old music...aka good music..aka the kind of music I really like to dance too. I loved this place. They have teeny-tiny dance floor with a drum set on it that anyone and everyone is welcome to play. See: Here is Abby's best friend Candace jamming away. She was actually pretty good. :)
OH! And also, I think I found my soul mate there. I don't know his name but at one point during the night he caught my eye because he was singing every word to every song like I was and he was pretty darn cute. So in the middle of dancing with some random guy who I had no idea who he was, I went over to him and I said: "You! Why are you not out here on the floor dancing?! You know every word. Get out here."
So he did. And we dance for like an hour and 1/2 singing all different sorts of songs to each other from Tina Turner to Micheal Jackson to The Police. It was awesome. But I didn't even get his name. So he is that kinda soul mate...one of the mysterious ones. But I was so excited because when I was looking through pictures, I realized I got snap shot of him. That is right. He is in the picture above. Here, let me zoom in for you:
There he is!! The guy with the glasses not the other guys. (Eeek!) My soul mate who I don't even know the name of! I was dancing with him at that point too but you can't see me. Oh wellz. Probably for the best.
So Raiford's was a blast. I want to go back so bad but it wasn't the end of the night yet. Our friend Clark, who the Trio met in Florida a couple summers ago lives in Memphis. He came out and met us and then invited us all back to his apartment. And check out the view from his apartment downtown:
That's right. His apartment looked right over the Redbirds Field. I would love love love that. I would never ever ever leave my apartment during baseball season. We just sat and threw rocks off the roof and prayed no one would fall. :) And we didn't. Eventually we all made it safe and sound back to the hotel.
Then Sunday, we made the trip home back to the LR. The weekend was an overall success, so much fun and now starting today the rest of the wedding festivities begin!
I hope you guys have a great weekend and for those of you who care, I am really going to try and better at blogging. Life gets in the way. (excuses, I know).
"You is kind. You is smart. And you is important."
If you are wondering why I am calling you kind and smart and important, don't worry; I am not. However, I am now wondering why you haven't seen the movie The Help yet, because that quote is from that movie. And yes, it is a very good movie.
A quick recap for those of you who haven't seen the film: Back in the day in the 1960's, when the racial divide was at its height, typical southern prestigious women had African American maids, who they called the help. In the film, one of the characters named Aibileen, serves as the help for a typical American husband, wife, and child. The wife is everything but kind and appreciative towards Aibileen but Aibileen works to form a motherly bond with their child, showing her more love and affection that both her mother and father combined. Everyday and when in times of emotional stress: Abilileen repeats those words to the little girl. She looks her right in the eyes and says in a slow, serious yet kind and soft voice, "You is kind. You is smart. And You is important."
Watching the movie, I knew that was an important part of the film but I based it on the fact that it was just something that Aibileen did for the child to show her love and care for her. (Which, in and of itself is enough.) However, just recently I realized how important those words were for that little girl to hear.
While on a run the other day, I was listening to a sermon by my old youth pastor, Jerrod Rumley, and during his talk he mentioned how whenever Cooper, his eldest son of 5, gets into trouble, as parents they simple say "Rumley's are not that way. Rumley's are kind." or "Rumley's are patient." or "Rumley's are forgiving."
When I heard this, I was reminded of the words that Aibileen spoke to that little girl and I got to thinking. Now is that little girl really smart? and does she really understand the meaning of the word important or what it means to be kind? No. Probably not. And neither does Cooper really, BUT the thing that sticks out to me is the power of those words and the effect they will have on the rest of these children's lives.
Words are so powerful and I think most of us underestimate the power of them way to often. I don't mean hateful words. We all, especially us girls, know the power of a hateful word and what it can do to our soul. I am referring to the power of positive and meaningful words that can form you into who you want to be and who are suppose to be.
Unfortunately, not all of us were raised with a maid as amazing as Aibileen nor with parents as wise as Jerrod and Jen Rumley. But what if we decided to take the power of words seriously? What if everyday, you and I woke up and said, or in my case, write down statements of truth about who we are and who we want to be.
So for example. A little application here: I have not been known to be the kindest, most gentle girl out there. This is something I have always wanted to work on and has been a big struggle of mine.
One of my statements would then be, like the little girl: I am kind. There is something about saying it or writing it down that makes you want to live it whether you fully believe it or not. I realized that while I was running and I literally said to myself "I am kind".
Discipline is another one of my struggles. So now, I can wake up and write down: I am kind. I am disciplined. And for a third: I am others-focused. (Lord knows I need to work on that one. I should maybe repeat that one three times alone.)
I strongly believe there is power in saying those things and they will make a difference over time in your life and how you act on a daily basis.
Also, you don't need to just keep the power of words for yourself. NEVER underestimate the power you have to make somebody be a better person through the use of words. Friends that you know struggle in a certain area, say to them the opposite of what they probably think or believe about themselves. To some of my friends I would say: You are worthy of love. You are strong. You are important. You are capable. You are focused. You are a great dad. You are a great mom. I don't know...just find that something and you say it to them. I have realized that I have had the privilege of being surround by amazing people in my life and I am just now realizing how their words have formed me into who I am. It took some digging but I realized that who I am, has everything to do with the important people who poured into me. It took one old friend from high school who I was really never that close too, writing a message to me on Facebook, telling me she loved my blog, to keep blogging. One person. She has helped me believe that I am a good writer.
I want to encourage you to try it. If you have limiting beliefs about yourself, you will always be limited to keep being just the way you are. Erase those beliefs and start believing in the power of words and use them for good. Let them run through you and let them change you.
I take back what I said at the beginning of the post. this is me, now saying to you:
Correction: after reading over it, this IS rambling depression talk.
So today at around 5:00, Kathrine, Molly, and I made it back to Little Rock from our weekend, Fall Break, in Florida. We went back to the same place we were at earlier this summer, Sanddestin.
As expected, everything there was just perfect.
We saw our old friends, made some new friends and had so much fun with just the three of us. The weather was perfect, the tourists were few, and the circumstances were awesome.
That being said, it makes coming home so much harder.
I hate that I hate coming back to reality so much. I love my family and I know how fortunate I am to have them so close and how fortunate I am to have job that I like. BUT, and yes this is a BIG BUT..and I cannot lie, you other brothers,.sorry...as I was saying, BUT I just don't know why it is always so hard to come back home. I don't think it should be.
Is it because I know what to expect everyday and I find boredom in that? Is it because I may not be doing what I am meant to do, even though I do like my job? Or is it because I always have a hard time living in the present and finding hope in the future. I have discussed this before, but I tend to be a master at living in the past. Whatever it is, I need to figure it out. I want to be excited about life.
Kathrine and Molly both said I was so much happier in Florida and I know they are right.
At home, I worry about every thing non-stop from how much money I am making, my job, trying to establish more relationships in Little Rock, and then wondering how much longer I am actually going to be in Little Rock. I get obsessive about working out and my weight and what I am eating which really dampens my attitude (so not okay, I realize this). I think about my dating life and how I am beginning to realize a true southern boy will never want to date me since I am a picture perfect failure of a southern girl. And with all this worrying, I worry about my worrying and try to tell myself that I am failing at looking at the big picture and I have got to realize that I am so not in control of any of this!
But heck, it is so much easier said that done.
Andddd...deep breath. (I warned you about the rambling.)
Can I get an amen? I mean, do other people get this way?
I just had to get it out. I was home, unpacked everything, started laundry, showered, ate dinner, and occupied an hour watching the Pan Am episode I missed and then the boredom and reality set back in.
Here is the mere effort to perk myself up, looking forward to a few fun events coming up:
The fair is here in Little Rock this weekend which is only fun when you get to go as VIP as Kathrine and I do every year due to her father, Captain Mark Allen. I think we may have a bon fire planned for the weekend. I am going to Orlando the first weekend of November. Halloween is coming up which even though I have never really celebrated, I am thinking this year, The Trio will have to do something fun! Maybe a trip to Memphis! And if not for Halloween, there will definitely be some other trips to Memphis for fun.
Okay, well if you happen to still be reading this depressing ramble session, I promise to not let that happen again anytime soon. I feel like I should be posting this to Xanga. Remember Xanga? It was like the original blog back in the day and all the emo people got on and told the saga of their middle school and high school days. Oh! the horrors of being a teenager but finally an outlet to let the whole world in on it.
